• Depreciation leads to an increase in appreciation: First, scoop a bowl of chocolate ice cream. If you like the richness of hard ice cream but the texture of soft serve, get the ice cream first and let it soften - the best of both worlds.

• Save GNP (gross national product): Once the ice cream is nicely melting, create a salad big enough to revitalize the agricultural industry of a small South American nation. I've read that spinach is really healthy for you, so get lots of it.

• Have a capital consumption: Get hot food and soup last. That way, they'll still be hot when you eat them.

• Treasure economy: When you're ready to dig in, assemble your food all at once so that when you sit down you don't have to get up again. It's just more efficient that way.

• Know your absolute capacity: There's no need to go for seconds when you have a finely honed sense of how much you can eat. The result: always being able to finish everything on your plate.

• It's a consumer's market out there: Normally, one eats at home, school, or work five plus days a week. On those occasions when that's not an option, you can catch a ride to the family restaurant around the corner, bike to a cafe, or walk to a neighborhood bistro. My personal philosophy: if there's pizza, I'm there.

• Keep your propensity to consume: When the choice is available, go for the all-you-can-eat model. As an economist, one must practice what he preaches. When you pay a fixed price, the marginal cost of each item is zero. Basic economic models say eat up until your marginal utility is zero. In other words, eat cheaply until you're full.

Now, who couldn't love advice like that?